Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Best Year EVER!

When I was first hired as a restaurant server, they started me out as a hostess and I spent the majority of my work day behind a cash register.  At the end of the night there were a lot of steps to take to close it down.  I had to organize the checks and coupons and add up all the receipts for the credit cards.  There were some frustrating nights where the numbers wouldn't add up perfectly and I had to go through every pile to find my simple two dollar mistake.  When you're tired of work and ready to go home, that two dollar difference can almost bring you to tears if you spend the next hour trying to find the missing numbers while thinking, "I could be home right now in my cozy bed!"
But SOME nights... some nights... it was beautiful.  My paperwork was perfectly filled out, numbers added up precisely, and the piles of visa, master card, am ex, and discover cards were flawlessly placed like cuddly ducks all in a row.  I would watch the clock with a huge grin as the hand ticked... ticked... ticked... closing time.  Without stress, I would click off the open sign, lock the front door, and clock out for the night.  It was one of those delightful feelings.  It's up there with bubble baths and hot chocolate.


God is amazing.  One thing I love about Him is how He allows us to learn through parables.  Sometimes He gives me personal revelation this way.  I'll receive answers to my prayers in little ways that only I can relate to or understand.  
One time, a few years ago, we were having a chit-chat, God and I.  I was discussing with Him  complaining to Him about my life not being exactly where I wanted it to be yet.  I wanted to be a mother at home with a million babies baking cookies and all that cliche, stereotypical Mormon mommy rubbish that everyone makes fun of.  All teasing aside, being home and raising kids in the gospel was a righteous desire that I didn't have and pleaded for with God. 
My answer was pretty interesting and unique to only me.  First, the word patience whispered through my thoughts.  Typical.  This usually happens.  But then my mind was steered to the cash register at my work.  That perfect moment where everything falls into place and you clock out exactly on time.  I had this funny feeling.  Something inside me told me this is what it would feel like for me.  Although the time had not come yet and I needed to endure a bit longer, it would all gracefully come together with all the puzzle pieces fitting at once.


And now looking back, let me tell you, 2015 has been my beautiful "clock-out" year.
It was right after our ultrasound appointment, where we saw our little buddy for the first time.  I remember showing my mother-in-law the strand of wonderful portraits of our little sea monkey when Mitch had to step outside for a phone call.  He came back in with a huge smile on his face.  "I got the job!" he announced.  We were now blessed with an awesome career for Mitchell to support our soon-to-be new family member.  A puzzle piece fell into place.


A few months later we were able to get a second car and begin construction on our future home.  Our new little best friend was born the beginning of October.  The pieces to the puzzle were filing in non-stop!  


And a few weeks ago I was blessed with another beautiful puzzle piece...
During a similar chit-chat with God around the same time as before I had asked him for a distraction.  Some kind of passion to keep my mind off what I didn't have.  He told me to start writing.  So I did.  Every day.  And it worked.  It really helped me feel better.  
I had this idea, and this idea became a character, which soon turned into a story, and eventually bloomed into a full-blown novel.  I wrote a book, you guys!  And a few weeks ago I got the email I have always dreamed of getting.  I'm going to be published!

This is something my sister-in-law sent me right after I found out the great news

What a beautiful cherry on top to this fantastic year!  In life, I know there's always good days and bad days, good years and bad years.  And I'm so glad I will always have this one to look back on.  I can always remember God cared about me.  He loves each of us, and although life can be frustrating, like those two dollar register nights where nothing seems to be going right, sometimes he gives us a break and blesses us with a perfect clock-out.


P.S. Here was my New Year's resolution from the beginning of year.  I guess I never got my puppy, but Heavenly Father's gotta draw the line somewhere.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Testimony Tuesday - The Doctor

In my microbiology class I remember learning about immunizations.  The best way I know how to explain it is the vaccine introduces your immune system to a specific germ so your body will freak out and attack it.  We create antibodies to remember how to defeat the sickness which makes us stronger the next time we're exposed to it.  Fascinating, right?!?  
Well, yesterday was Trekker's two-month doctor visit.  The date on the calendar had been haunting me all month because I knew it was time for his baby shots.  I begged Mitch to take off work early for the day so I didn't have to go by myself.
The whole drive to the doctor I was trying to explain to Trekker what was going to happen: how it was going to hurt, but mommy and daddy loved him so much and wanted him to be safe from dangerous sicknesses, how even though there would be pain now, one day he'll look back and be grateful it made him stronger.  I know he couldn't understand me, but I tried telling him anyways.
Oh, when the time came it was just the worst.  He was set on the table and the nurse asked Mitch to pin down his arms.  She leaned against his legs so he couldn't move and proceeded to inject the needles.  I sat in the corner terrified and had to look away.  When I listened to his helpless, high pitched cries, I shut my eyelids tightly to stop the tears from flowing.  I just wanted to take the pain away, take the needle injections for him.  This was the hardest part of being a parent so far.


As he continued to wail and I watched him in his father's arms being swayed and comforted I thought about my Heavenly Father...
How often does He go through this similar experience?  How often do we relate to Trekker's perspective?  All we can feel is this horrible pain happening and we don't understand why our Father in Heaven would allow us to go through it. 
"Doesn't He love me?  Why won't He stop this from happening?  Can't He hear that that I'm crying and pleading for this suffering to stop?"


Little do we know during our hardest trials that this pain is there to help us, to make us stronger.  Heavenly Father is listening to every cry.  He can't take the immunizations for us as badly as any parent would want to.  Our trials in this life are there for our good, and I'm beginning to see from a parent's perspective what that truly means for the first time.


Look at my brave little man!  And his chunk-o thighs with the horrible battle scars.  He gets extra, extra cuddles today.

On a similar note....
Enjoy my TESTIMONY TUESDAY - Episode 12
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