10 Things I Do When I'm Feeling Down

All week long I have been focusing on my Adversity Lesson and it has helped me reflect and think about how I handle the struggles I'm going through in my life.  I've thought about my good days and bad days and what has helped me make it through the bad.  

In our family growing up, I was the middle child.  I was the trouble maker and I know the most difficult kid to raise (sorry mom and dad).  My older brother, Adam, on the other hand, was perfect.  He always looked out for me and protected me.  He was seriously my hero as I awkwardly stumbled through childhood.

I have this memory of the two of us.  I was mad about something and sitting up in my room listening to music or whatever it is teenagers do when their angry with their parents.  Adam came in and sat down beside me.  I vented to him about everything, how "this isn't fair" and "why wont they let me do this?"  He sat silently and listened to every word.

I knew he understood.  I knew he was listening with his whole heart and was aware of what I was feeling.  Then he gave me some advice.  He put the situation into a different perspective and had me try and put myself in mom's and dad's shoes.  Adam has always been an old, wise soul, even during his youth.  He was there that day to comfort me and cheer me up.

The most important part of this memory was what happened next.  He nudged me and said, "C'mon.  Don't sit in your room being upset all day.  Let's go and do something."  

When I think about the atonement, I know that the Lord knows my pains and can comfort me when I'm feeling sad.  But sometimes I stop there.  Sometimes it feels good to be sad.  I feel more justified about what I'm going through and find myself sitting alone feeling sorry for myself.  But the Lord doesn't want us to do this.  It's okay to feel sorrow at first, but we also need to move on.  

Even though our Savior went through pain and suffering, I don't think he would sit and linger on the negative experiences he went through.  And neither should we.  When we are faced with a difficult trial the Lord can come into our lives and understand us and comfort us through the atonement.  But then we need to get up and move on.  He wants us to take his hand, walk away from our sorrows, and be happy.

I sat down and decided to make a list of my TOP TEN things I do to try and stay positive.

1.  I COUNT MY BLESSINGS... OUT LOUD

I know this sounds SUPER corny, but I swear it works.

I was on my way to work one day, just grumpy as could be.  I didn't want to go, I was practically in tears and for some reason I started listing to myself all of the things I was thankful for in that five minute drive.  By the time I arrived I was SO HAPPY.  I spent my entire shift smiling and being thankful for everything around me, including my great job!

2.  I INVITE THE SPIRIT INTO MY HOME

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "If we are practicing our faith and seeking the companionship of the Holy Spirit, His presence can be felt in our hearts and in our homes."  

Whenever I'm just feeling "BLEH," it helps when I walk in the living room and switch on some uplifting music.  I turn on my SCENTSY to lighten the mood and tidy up any clutter.  Then I bake some cookies or find and activity that brings peace into my home.

3.  I FIND A NEW PASSION THAT DISTRACTS ME FROM MY TRIALS

I have tried doing this in the past and it didn't work.  I would find a fresh hobby or learn something new and would eventually get bored, find myself down again and now burdened with unfinished projects to add to my list of things to do.  

The key is truly finding something you are PASSIONATE about.  

It took me a while to discover what my passion was.  It even took nights and nights of praying, asking my Heavenly Father to help me find ways to be happy and adapt to my circumstances instead of pleading for my circumstances to change.  

But one day I found it and I began writing.  And I kept writing every single day and still do.  I have found that my positive attitude has been stronger these last few months than they've ever been before.  I have used my writing to keep myself distracted from my troubles.  

4.  I ASK FOR PRIESTHOOD BLESSINGS

Everyone has a love language, right?  And a love tank that constantly needs to be filled to feel appreciated?  I have come to realize that I have a spiritual tank.  And when I receive priesthood blessings of comfort from my husband or another priesthood holder my tank OVERFLOWS.  It gives me a huge emotional boost knowing my Heavenly Father is there for me and loves me.

The words of comfort which are spoken I know are coming directly from my Father in Heaven and I can't describe the peace and happiness I feel inside when I feel His love encompass my soul.

5.  I LOSE MYSELF IN SERVICE

This one is kind of like when I count my blessings.  At first I might roll my eyes and think of it more like a chore than something fun to do, but once I act upon it I end my day with feelings of pure joy.  When you find someone around you to help and serve, you become numb to your own worries and adjust your focal point to someone who needs it more.  

I have a challenge for you.  Set aside a teeny, tiny, microscopic budget for helping others.  I mean it.  Do it.  Now.  Go.  Seriously.

Even if it's two dollars a day.  That adds up to $62 by the end of the month.  Take that money and plan an activity with your family to anonymously help another person.  I swear, you will be smiling all week long!  Whether you use it to pay for someone's dinner, donate it to a charity, or buy a huge bag of dog food and doorbell ditch the local humane society with fresh puppy chow, giving away your money to help others is so fulfilling and rewarding deep in your shaky bones.

Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Matthew 25:40

6.  I CHANGE AROUND MY FURNITURE

Sometimes if I get a little depressed all I need is a simple change.  Moving things around to grasp that "fresh start" feeling helps me feel motivated to get up and do things.  We've started getting giddy for spring cleaning the house and embracing that extra refreshing boost.

7.  I TAKE MY SHOWERS WITH THE LIGHTS OFF

So weird, I know.  But whenever I'm feeling down, I do this and I love it.  I turn on the water and quickly memorize which shelf has the shampoo bottle and which one has the conditioner so I don't mix them up, then shut off the lights and shower in complete darkness.  It helps me sort through my thoughts.  I like to do this to get inspired to write too.  Something about the darkness takes away distractions and allows me to focus and think more clearly.  It can help me control my thoughts so I can brush out the negative and embrace the positive.

8.  I GET SOME FRESH AIR

This is incredibly easy to do when one is married to a mountain man.  Mitch can be busy working on anything and if I tell him I feel like going on a hike, he will literally drop everything and say, "I'll go get my boots."  I think being away from people and surrounding yourself with nature's tranquility allows you to meditate and see a bigger picture so you can realize how little your problems are on the grand scale of things.

9.  I SPOIL MYSELF

If I'm grumpy and desperate, I run to the freezer and chow down on vanilla ice cream.  With chocolate sauce.  And whipped cream.  AND rainbow sprinkles.

Sometimes I just need a fun shopping day to buy a new outfit or I'll get some flowers for the kitchen table.  The other day I was feeling negative and I had this strange desire to color in a coloring book, so BY GOLLY I DID!!  I" kindergardened" it up (yes, I made that verb up) and dusted off my colored pencils.  I may have felt a little childish, but strangely I felt satisfied and happier afterwards.  I do what I want!

10.  I GO TO THE TEMPLE

Even if I'm just walking around the outside of the building, I feel a beautiful peace.  The temple to me is a lot like when I'm out in nature.  My perspective is forced outside of myself and everything seems bigger.  Countless times I have attended the temple because I was troubled by something and seeking inspiration.  But as soon as I step inside, none of it matters anymore.  I sit in the celestial room and stare at the awe-inspiring chandeliers sparkling above me and realize everything is taken care of.  Our adversities and afflictions shall be but a small moment. Everything will be okay and no matter what trial I am facing, with help from the Lord, I can withstand anything.

HAPPY TESTIMONY TUESDAY

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Why Do We Have Adversity?

Get this week's lesson here.

In writing, there always has to be conflict, or you have no story.  When a reader is reading a book, they want to help the main character solve their problems and watch them grow through their struggles.  Can you imagine how boring Lord of the Rings would have been if Frodo had no adversity?  What would be the point of the story?

In our lives, there must be opposition in all things.  We can not experience happiness without misery (2 Nephi 2:11).  When Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, they were glad and felt joy that their eyes were opened because of their transgression (Moses 5:10-11).

If we never got sick we'd never appreciate being healthy
When we exercise, without the pain of sore muscles we'd never get stronger
If we didn't have bad days we wouldn't recognize the good days

The idea of adversity and enduring trials in my life brings the lingering thoughts of a few painful memories, but with that, the completeness of a beautiful understanding of why it is necessary in our lives.

WRAPPED TIGHTLY IN ITS COCOON, THE DEVELOPING CHRYSALIS MUST STRUGGLE WITH ALL ITS MIGHT TO BREAK ITS CONFINEMENT.  THE BUTTERFLY MIGHT THINK, WHY MUST I SUFFER SO?  … SUCH THOUGHTS WOULD BE CONTRARY TO THE CREATORS DESIGN.  THE STRUGGLE TO BREAK OUT OF THE COCOON DEVELOPS THE BUTTERFLY SO IT CAN FLY.  WITHOUT THAT ADVERSITY, THE BUTTERFLY WOULD NEVER HAVE THE STRENGTH TO ACHIEVE ITS DESTINY.

-JOSEPH B. WIRTHLIN

When Joseph Smith struggled in Carthage Jail he was told 

"All these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good.

The Son of man hath descended below them all.  Art thou greater than he?"

(D&C 122:7-8)

We will all experience trials.  When you reflect on the song THE WISE MAN AND THE FOOLISH MAN did you ever stop and noticed the rains came down on BOTH of them?  Not just the foolish man who was making poor choices?  Everyone in this life will have to experience challenges.

I love President Monson's talk HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION:

At the time I met him, President Tanner was president of the vast Trans-Canada Pipelines, Ltd., and president of the Canada Calgary Stake. He was known as “Mr. Integrity” in Canada. During that first meeting, we discussed, among other subjects, the cold Canadian winters, where storms rage, temperatures can linger well below freezing for weeks at a time, and where icy winds lower those temperatures even further. I asked President Tanner why the roads and highways in western Canada basically remained intact during such winters, showing little or no signs of cracking or breaking, while the road surfaces in many areas where winters are less cold and less severe developed cracks and breaks and potholes.

Said he, “The answer is in the depth of the base of the paving materials. In order for them to remain strong and unbroken, it is necessary to go very deep with the foundation layers. When the foundations are not deep enough, the surfaces cannot withstand the extremes of weather.”

Over the years I have thought often of this conversation and of President Tanner’s explanation, for I recognize in his words a profound application for our lives. Stated simply, if we do not have a deep foundation of faith and a solid testimony of truth, we may have difficulty withstanding the harsh storms and icy winds of adversity which inevitably come to each of us.

When I did track in high school, I remember practicing my high jump approaches over and over.  My coach used to say, "I want you to learn your approach so well that you'd be able to jump with your eyes closed!"

Can you imagine blindly springing as fast as you can towards heavy standards and a bar that could clothesline you, jumping high into the air and landing on your back on what hopefully should be a cushioned mat if you approached correctly?

I practiced and practiced and practiced until I had every step and every turn perfectly memorized.  I still looked at where I was landing, but I remember thinking, if someone ever wrapped a blindfold around my head, I've totally got this.

Then one spring day... in Central Oregon.... it began to snow.  And it snowed HARD.  It was during a track meet and they called my name to jump.  I had already practiced and taped my marks on the ground and knew where to start my approach.  I looked up at the high jump bar, and the snow falling was so thick that I couldn't see the pit.  I just saw white.  I felt like I was blind!

Looking back on it, the wise choice would have probably been to wait for the snow to pass to avoid a major injury.  But in my mind, I heard my coach's words, "Learn your approach so you can jump with your eyes closed."  I felt confident from all my earlier practices and I ran.  I sprinted into nothingness.  I turned and planted and when I jumped, it felt like I was flying through the clouds.  I stretched through the air having faith that the mat would catch me, even though I couldn't see it.

And it did.  And I cleared the height!

When we build a strong foundation of faith and a testimony of truth, we won't panic when adversity comes our way.  We just need to keep doing what we were doing before and rely on the Lord.  Know that He is in control, fall into His arms and trust that He's there to catch us.

D&C 121:7–8

 7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

 8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

What does endurance mean?  If you were racing, is it being like BOLT from the Olympics and sprinting 100 meters or is it like the long distance runners that run around the track over and over and OVER again and have to go for MILES before crossing the finish line?

I always thought long distance running was so much harder because it's not only testing you physically, but mentally as well.  You're constantly telling yourself, "My body hurts so bad.  I hate this.  I want to quit.  No, don't stop!  Let go of the pain.  I hate this."

My favorite quote from the book UNBROKEN was during Louie Zamperini's race when he said:

"A LIFETIME OF GLORY IS WORTH A MOMENT OF PAIN"

Although it may hurt now, our afflictions will be but a small moment.  Through the atonement we can be comforted during our challenges and sorrows.  Our trials are there to perfect us.  And if we develop a strong foundation, our faith will be there to strengthen us when the rains come tumbling down.

LAST THING
I PICKED A FEW OF MY FAVORITE SCRIPTURES EXPLAINING WHY WE HAVE ADVERSITY AND MADE A WORKSHEET FOR THE GIRLS TO FILL OUT.

Christmas Traditions

"Traditions offer opportunities to create memories, share love, and build strong bonds between family members.  They will not only help your family life be more peaceful and rewarding, they will also give your children memories they can draw on no matter where they go or who they grow up to be."     -Linda and Richard Eyre

I love Christmas so much!  When we moved across the country, I experienced a serious case of homesickness.  It was ridiculous.  The only thing that comforted me was surrounding myself with holiday traditions from my childhood.  I wanted to share some traditions that Mitch and I have started in our own tiny family...

To download fake fireplace click the following:

Print X3 copies LARGE BRICKS

Print X1 copy SMALL BRICKS

Print X1 copy FIREWOOD

Print X2 copies FIRE

To download Christmas Pictionary Cards, click here.

Lime Sorbet

7-Up

Green Sprinkles

CHRISTMAS CD

Mitch and his brothers record Christmas songs and make CDs for the family to enjoy every year around Christmas time

Christmas morning we like to sleep upside-down in bed so we wake up half confused and excited!  Then we enjoy a Christmas breakfast and eggnog.

And my FAVORITEST FAVORITE Christmas Pretzels

Preheat oven to 200 Degrees

Place a layer of pretzels  on a wax paper covered cookie sheet

Top each one with a kiss

Bake for about 4 minutes until the kisses are really soft

Immediately place 2 M&Ms on each one

MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I can't wait for it to get here!

Why Is It Important To Gain An Education? Why Does The Lord Want Me To Be Healthy?

I have been a major slacker this month.  So, to make up for it, I'm morphing this week into a DOUBLE LESSON!  BAM BAM KA-CHAOW!!!!!

Get the links to the actual lessons here:

 Why is it important for me to gain an education and develop skills? 

Why does the Lord want me to be healthy?

WARNING:  I'm straying from the Come Follow Me manual this week and going my own direction with the subjects.  I think these areas are important and should be focused on individually, but I also feel like there's a bigger picture here that can encompass them as a whole.  And it compliments the month's theme of being self-reliant too.

When Christ was on the earth, He set the perfect example for us to follow.  We can study the scriptures and learn from the choices He made how we should act and live our lives.  But here's the thing… When Christ was in His youth, we hardly have any information about who He was.  We know the story of him in the temple when He was 12, but then there's a huge gap between then and His ministry when He was a lot older.  

How can the young women relate to him during their teens?

This ONE scripture pretty much sums up his ENTIRE youth:

Luke 2:52

 And Jesus ^aincreased in ^bwisdom and stature, and in ^cfavourwith God and man.

The footnotes for "favour" in this verse translates to "relationship."  We are told four things about the Savior during his teens:

 He increased in wisdom,

He increased in Stature,

He increased his relationship with God,

and He increased his relationship with man

Isn't that awesome?!?!  I LOVE THIS SCRIPTURE!  I love it because, to me, it shows that Christ was WELL BALANCED.  Yes, He was spiritual and spent his youth studying the scriptures and increasing his testimony, BUT he also was able to enjoy other activities.  He was physically active, he had a social life, and he gained knowledge and learned other things outside of the gospel!

When Doctrine and Covenants 58:26-28 talks about being anxiously engaged in a good cause and doing things of our own free will, it makes me happy knowing our Heavenly Father wants us to enjoy our lives and make our own choices to participate in uplifting activities that don't necessarily have to be completely church related.  He's happy when we're playing sports or when we join the school choir or when we dance or when we go bowling with our friends.  As long as it brings to pass righteousness, we are following our Savior's example and we are pleasing our Heavenly Father. 

BALANCE

"You remember lesson about balance?  Lesson not just karate only.  Lesson for whole life.  Whole life have a balance.  Everything be better."

-Mr. Miyagi

Bob Mathias was the Olympic Decathlon gold medalist back in 1948 and 1952.  At age 17, he was the youngest gold medalist to win a track and field event.  My dad used to tell me about him.  You know why he was awesome?  He never came in first in any of his events.  "But Jesse, how can you win the decathlon without placing first in an event?" you may ask.  I'll tell you….

He was well-rounded.  Mathias would always place towards the top of each event.  Most people were ridiculously awesome in a single area, but lacked skill in others.  Bob was balanced and could keep up with the top athletes for each event without necessarily being "the star" of a single area.

Random side note: Ashton Eaton, who just won the Olympic Decathlon last year, went to my rival high school. So we totally competed at the same track meets.  No big deal…

Since we dissected that Luke verse earlier, we can split the lesson up into four categories

MENTAL-

Education is an important part of our Heavenly Father's plan to help us become more like Him.  Obtaining an education provides understanding and skills that can help us develop self-reliance.  Education will also prepare us for greater service in our families, the Church, and the world.

Assign the young women to read individually one of the five paragraphs from the "Education" section of For the Strength of Youth.  Ask them to explain to the class what they read, and discuss why it is important to work diligently now to gain a good education.  Invite the young women to think about and share their goals to gain an education.

PHYSICAL-

Good health is an important part of being self-reliant.  Safeguarding our health will allow us to fulfill our divine potential and serve others more effectively.  The way we treat our bodies affects our spiritual health and our ability to receive guidance from the Holy Ghost.  In order to preserve our health, we should obey the Word of Wisdom, eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and get adequate sleep.

Christ learned from his earthly father, Joseph, how to be a carpenter.  Do you know how strong carpenters are?  Handling all that heavy wood and equipment every day?  My dad worked in a lumber yard before he left on his mission and because of it, he gained some major arm muscle.  Out of all the missionaries in the Barcelona mission field, he was undefeated at arm wrestling.  He even beat some kid who was a New York high school state wrestling champion.  And he wasn't this huge football player or anything.  He was all skin and bones.  I mean… Look at this guy!!

P.S.  Finding pictures of your parents and grandparents from before you were born is just fantastic.

I like the PHYSICAL HEALTH video this lesson includes.  It's a little long, but I love it when they show different perspectives of youth all around the world.  It's easy to get trapped in your own personal bubble and forget that there are others around you experiencing the same kinds of things.

SPIRITUAL- 

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us and wants us to draw near to Him.  He has given us the opportunity to pray to Him and has promised to hear and answer our prayers.  We can also come to know Him as we study the scriptures and the words of latter-day prophets and as we strive to become more like Him by following His will.

SOCIAL-  How can the girls work on their relationship with others?  Have the girls read the "Friends" section of For the Strength of Youth.

*****

My desire this week is for the girls to recognize the importance of balancing their lives.  If they find an area they're struggling with or trying to avoid, they should focus on improving it.  All these areas are important and things that Christ worked on developing as well.

You know the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES quiz you can take to find your love language strengths?  I made a quiz kind of like that to help the girls find out the areas in life they need to work on.  I'm not a scientist or psychiatrist or whatever I need to be to make this a legit "studies show" type of test.  So, it might not actually mean anything logical.  But I thought it might be fun for the girls to help them determine what areas they need improvement in…

FOR EACH PAIR OF THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS, CIRCLE THE ONE THAT DESCRIBES YOU BEST. 

1.  I’m happy when I’m playing sports.  B

      I love reading.  I could curl up in bed and read for hours.  A

2.   I love weekends when I can go out and hang with my friends.  D

      I try to make it to all my church activities, even if I have to miss out on other activities.  C

3.  Getting good grades at school is very important to me.  A

      After school, I like to go to my friend’s house.  D

4.  I enjoy attend seminary and getting a spiritual boost in the morning.  C

     I love that feeling after working out when you’re sweaty and sore, but know you just did something great for your body.  B

5.   I love it when I log on to Facebook and have lots of new notifications.  D

      I always enjoy P.E. at school because of the activities we get to participate in. B

6.  When I watch TV, I don't mind watching educational channels or documentaries.  A

      I try my best at reading scriptures and praying everyday so I can have the Holy Ghost as my constant companion.  C

7.  When I’m hungry for an afternoon snack, I always try and grab something   healthy, like fresh fruits or veggies from the fridge.  B

     When I pick my class schedule, I get excited about choosing extracurricular activities and taking classes that I actually have an interest in.  A

8.  I enjoy reading General Conference talks and The New Era magazine in my spare time.  C

      I don’t like being home by myself.  I’d rather call a friend and go out.  D

9.  I’m pretty outgoing when it comes to making new friends.  D

     I love the feeling when something “clicks” and all the sudden I understand my homework.  A

10.  I try and workout and exercise on a regular basis.  B

        I like having gospel discussions, even outside of church.  C

11.  I enjoy learning and my classes and teachers at school.  A

        I love going to church and feeling the spirit during all my lessons… {especially Sister Blackburn’s awesome YW lessons}.  C

12.  I like going to school sporting events.  Not so much for the games… Mostly just so I can meet my friends.  D

       I enjoy competing in sport activities and working on improving my athletics.  B

13.  I look forward to graduating and getting my college degree.  A

       When I go out to eat, I try to be aware of what’s healthy on the menu while making my decision.  B

14.  I love Sundays.  I love the spirit I feel when I get home from church and spend the rest of the day relaxing and keeping the Sabbath day holy.  C

       I get excited when I see I got a text message from a friend.  D

15.  I feel guilty if I eat too much junk food.  B

        I like going to girls camp because of the spiritual experience. C

16.  I always look forward to lunchtime at school when I can sit and talk with my friends.  D

       If I finish my homework super early, I don’t mind getting ahead and working on things for class I don’t need to worry about until next week.  A

NOW GO THROUGH YOUR QUIZ AGAIN AND COUNT HOW MANY “A, B, C, AND Ds” YOU CIRCLED AND PLACE THE NUMBER IN BELOW.

A: __________  B: __________  C: __________  D: __________

Which letter had your lowest score?

                    A = MENTAL {KNOWLEDGE}

                    B = PHYSICAL {HEALTH}

                    C = SPIRITUAL {SPIRITUAL}

                    D = SOCIAL {RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE}