My caged spirit is rattling. It wants out. Everyone has their personal passions and outlets and I find mine is pouring out religious thoughts. Because I love it so much! The gospel is like chocolate ice cream to me. And. I. Must. Eat. FAT. FAT. FAT!
While we were visiting another Sunday ward recently, I was walking down the hallway with a fussy baby and peeked into the window of my son’s Sunday school classroom. All of the two and three-year-olds were sitting reverently in their chairs singing along with their teacher to “Jesus Said Love Everyone”
… Except for my child who was in the corner on the other side of the room lying on the ground NOT paying attention.
First of all…. Typical. 😂
But as I drove home reflecting on my day of battling tears while putting on my toddler’s church socks, the anxiety of keeping the kids quiet enough during sacrament meeting to not disrupt the other families, the loneliness of doing it all on my own suddenly piled on top of me and the negative thoughts naturally crept in and began attacking.
“You’re not a good enough mom.”
“Your family doesn’t have the religious structure that other families do.”
“Your kids will always be different from their peers.”
I thought and thought and thought. And then a thought invited itself in, as those beautiful Holy Ghost lifelines usually do. I recalled Christ’s parable of the servants and the talents:
“And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.
His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord…”
I sat thoughtfully at the long stoplight gripping the steering wheel and whispered to God, “Here are my two talents, Father. It’s not as much, but I am truly working with what I’ve got and giving it my all.”
I never paid attention to the details before. I think most people focus on the five-talent overachiever and the ONE-talent servant that shrinks away and hides his treasure. It seems like the two-talent character usually goes unnoticed. But I suddenly realized in this story that the lord gives the same reaction to the five AND the two talent servant.
“Well done, good and faithful servant….”
In this moment I felt like God was proud of me. He knows me. He knows my circumstances. And it is silly of me to judge or compare myself to others.
When we got home from church I walked past my son playing with his toys and I could hear him humming to himself, “Jesus said love everyone…”
Everything is gonna be just fine. We are all fine.